Your Children's View Your Children's View
By Ma Lourdes Torrecarion
I'm sure all parents have gone through adolescence and have had experienced it's happy and horrible times. I'm sure all parents know how we all have to adjust to this very unpredictable and unstable stage in our lives. This is where we learn things the first time-- some good, but most of the things teens come across and get curious about are considered to be negative. Of course, we'd always be curious about bad stuff than nice stuff, right? Especially during the teenage stage and I'm sure we all understand this. I'm sure all parents know how there are times when they were younger that there really are situations that are very difficult to handle. And certainly, I understand that most parents, considering the time that had gone by, already might have forgotten the situation of being a teen. Of course, we all will take our own roles as we grow and we can't just stay in one mental perspective all our lifetime. But just for a few minutes, dear parents - or even kids - let's take time to view the world in my eyes and in the eyes of my peers. Let's talk about how we - teens - think about you, our parents, our lives, friends, relationships, etc. This is purely based on my own experience and also of my friends who have had similar experiences as I've had. This simply aims to let others know what we feel and why we do things which they mostly could not understand.
We hate being told what to do. Well, most of us do. We are insecure. We love being with friends. We like the company of someone we are romantically attached with. We hate gossips about us. We do lie most of the time. We hate stupid college teachers. We like good fast food treats. We do find solitude a great time to think. We like to live our lives as teens the way we like to live it. We can think of our good on our own. And it would all be perfect if our parents were there to support and understand us, not manipulate us. It might sound very hard or even unacceptable to the mind for most parents but we all know we only live this part of our lives once. Some can't make the most out of it because of some unnecessary restraints by the family.
What I'd like to point out, though, as an important factor in giving your teenage kids their well- deserved independence for decision making and their actions is that you as parents should know your kids on a personal, in-depth manner. Obviously, most parents who are too hard on their kids are those who are naturally strict and those who don't know their children well enough that they don't even know that Bob still likes sleeping with his teddy bear at 17. Of course, it'll be very hard to grant your kids free will if you don't know them because basically, you can't get to trust them. And I agree with that. If I were a parent and my kid can't tell me what he did when he went missing for a whole week and come back like nothing happened, I'd definitely lose the trust and be more hard on discipline. So, the point is, as a message to the teens of today, If you want to gain Mom and Dad's trust and be more free to do what you want, be open to your parents. As I've said, we do lie, right? But if there's a great time to tell the truth and be open, this is the best time. Telling Mom and Dad what is up with your life, who you're going out with, who your friends are, makes them feel that they're a part of your growth and life even as a teen and you're not hiding things (we do hide things from our parents, but they mostly are not a threat to us). It gives them a sense of security that you know what you're doing and trust will build up from there. If you've got very open and understanding parents, you're in luck. You'll enjoy your youth. I'm sorry for those whose folks are too hooked up on tightening their grip on their kids that they don't even realize that the more they tighten the chains, the more we will feel scared and unwilling to tell them the truth or what we are doing. Being strict has it's own advantage but if you want to enjoy being a parent and at the same time let your kid have fun with their lives as well, you know what to do.
Life is meant to be enjoyed. With good purpose and direction, a child is better with a parent's hand to guide him.
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